The Blurring Lines
by VaultedFaults
Summary: 'She realized a bit too late in life that falling in love did not become her but then again, this particular heart break still remained to be branded into her soul. How would she learn otherwise...' /Oneshot/


_**The Blurring Lines**_

 **Disclaimer:** I hold no claim to this anime or its characters.

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She realized a bit too late in life that falling in love did not become her…

All her childhood, small lessons had been hammered into her mind by those around her until they were embedded so deep in that they became a part of her very nature. Until she couldn't separate all the edicts from what she truly was.

What existed right now - a blurred reflection of her face in the car's mirror - was a strange amalgam of who she wanted to be and what _others_ wanted her to be.

Clearly, self-deprecation fell into the same category as falling in love.

Idly twisting the corner of her sleeve around one finger, she observed the scene in front of her; he leaned forward again, cracking one of those jokes that never failed to amuse and she watched the girl laugh with her head thrown back.

They both looked happy.

That meant she was either supposed to be happy to see _him_ happy (what utter nonsense) or she was supposed to feel jealous.

Nothing.

All she wanted to do was take that umbrella he held in his hand, shielding his _beloved_ from the rain drops and whack him on the forehead with it but then again women like her did not do that - they observed from the sidelines, made an underhanded strategy and then waited for men to realize their mistake and come to them. They remained subtle, they never wished to do something as commonplace as having an ice-cream in the middle of a public-street, they never wished for commonplace men.

They soared high.

Then God knew why doing so no longer held any appeal to her.

Father always used to remind her - his incurably romantic daughter - that life was a marathon; those who found time for trivialities such as love were either weak of the heart or unemployed.

Perhaps that would explain her recent failures in this particular field.

"To the Estate." Absentmindedly she asked the driver to take her to _that_ place. The place which just might hold a remnant of who she actually was; a diary she had written in but forgotten about, a picture with her smiling without artifice, just something to remind her of better, original times, of a good memory long forgotten.

Something that would connect to her soul, not the thing she so calmly talked about on TV but something that would remind her of life before the competition began to take over, before perfection was what she had to achieve.

The mirror began to slowly roll upwards just as she had finally taken a clearer look at the couple; through the tinted glass she squinted and saw him smile at the girl - one of those wolfish smiles that had women melt at his feet, eager to be his minions. This particular one threw her head back and laughed.

The dim-witted woman probably had no idea what he meant by the underlying subtleties in his words.

Though why she hung on to every word he said when he probably had no idea that she existed, she could not understand.

Ignoring the silence that stretched inside her, she leaned back in her seat, vanishing from the edge into the shadows of the car.

The first time had been nothing compared to this.

If only she had known that love would cause her emptiness, this much amount of conflict, she would have probably learned her lesson the first time she had thought she was falling into that abyss of blue and black.

But then again, this particular one still remained to be branded into her soul.

How would she learn otherwise?

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 _Erm... I'm not really sure about what kind of fic this is but well, I used no names so you're welcome to guess about whom it was, although I think it becomes pretty obvious as we read the story *shrugs* This was my first ever piece of fanfiction and I must say that I haven't read any in the GH fandom (not very proud of that fact) and if you have a good piece of fanfic to recommend, please do tell me._

 _Thank you for reading!_

 _~VaultedFaults_


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